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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23363743">Hell, But Fast™</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuedeMehtus/pseuds/SuedeMehtus'>SuedeMehtus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A bit of a crackfic, Group chat, Lando is a dork, M/M, Other, more drivers will come soon, potential relationships in the future i dunno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:27:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23363743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuedeMehtus/pseuds/SuedeMehtus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chili: oh god</p><p>Eclair: i have no words</p><p>GioGio: 1 week of quarantine for him and this is what happens</p><p>___________________________________________________</p><p>During the recent situation the globe is in, all the drivers are stuck at home. Lando decides to make a big group chat so everyone can stay in contact.</p><p>Hilarity, shitposting, and absolute anarchy ensue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen, Esteban Ocon/Lance Stroll, Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. teammate betrayals and milk.mp4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey everyone, this is my first fic over here! I had a thought earlier last night about Lando making a massive group chat to stay in contact with the f1 circus during the current situation, and just had to turn it into a story.</p><p>Here's the list of the current driver nicknames:</p><p>MilkMan: Lando</p><p>TallBoi: George</p><p>Chili: Carlos</p><p>GioGio: Antonio</p><p>Lion: Max</p><p>AlexAlbon: Alex</p><p>Eclair: Charles</p><p>BigDEnergy: Daniel</p><p>Oconsistency: Esteban</p><p>AlphaBull: Pierre</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> New chat created </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> MilkMan has added TallBoi, Chili, GioGio, Lion, AlexAlbon and Eclair </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: welcome bois</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: oh for god's sake lando</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: what? we're all bored and stuck at home aren't we? why not gather and chat?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eclair: i have a bad feeling about this</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lion: me too</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chili: i'm on the fence too tbh</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: wow betrayed by my own teammate</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: a tragedy the world over, f’s in the chat</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lion: f</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eclair: f</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: f</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: f</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chili: f</p>
<p> </p>
<p>GioGio: what in the world has lando created</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: hell</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: c'mon george give it a chance</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: fine but i won't like it</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: i'll take that</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: hang on i need a shitposting accomplice</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: pls no</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> MilkMan has added BigDEnergy </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BigDEnergy oh man this should be good, time to shitpost</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lion: daniel no</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BigDEnergy: daniel yes</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: that's the spirit dan</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: embrace hell with open arms</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BigDEnergy: so it's just us 8?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lion: so far it seems</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BigDEnergy: feels lonely, I can fix that</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: please don't subject more people to this hell</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> BigDEnergy has added Oconsistency </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oconsistency: what in the fuck is this</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tallboi: hell</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oconsistency: i wanna get out</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: too late, you're in the club</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: i didn't even have to add you lol</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: you're along for the ride esteban, get used to it</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oconsistency: well, i'm sure as hell not doing it alone</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Oconsistency has added AlphaBull </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlphaBull: oh god</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlphaBull: i'm in hell, aren't i?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Esteban: if i'm dragged in here, i'm taking my fellow countryman with me</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlphaBull: how considerate</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> TallBoi has named the chat Hell, But Fast </em> <em> ™ </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: george is contributing! i'm so proud</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: i'm merely stating a fact on what this chat is</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: still contribution! i take that as a win</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eclair: it is a pretty accurate name</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lion: i'll agree there</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: yeah it's a good name</p>
<p> </p>
<p>________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: guys</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lion: oh god</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oconsistency: oh god</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chili: please don't subject them to it</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: milk.mp4</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chili: oh god</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eclair: i have no words</p>
<p> </p>
<p>GioGio: 1 week of quarantine for him and this is what happens</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlphaBull: there were so many possibilities my mind came up with on what that video could be</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlphaBull: lando remaking that canberra milk commercial webber did ages back was not one of them</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: lando why</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: do i even have to say why?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: </p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: fair point</p>
<p> </p>
<p>______</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: i'd just like to thank the almighty LANDOBOT for his services tonight</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: i'd say a good result despite getting punterino'd</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: that was.. oddly entertaining</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lion: seeing johnny herbert send turn 1 like i suggested to you was priceless</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: i'm still not forgiving you for that pre race call lando</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: IM SORRY IT WAS FOR THE MEME</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: are you sorry tho?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: YES</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: sounds fake but ok</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: GJDHXHHDHSUDHFVD IM SORRYYYYYYY</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TallBoi: okay yeah he's keysmashing, he is sorry</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chili: I hope my tips helped :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: they did! saved my tyres cause of landobot and then drove in anger during the final laps on the hards</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: and for that, I thank u carlos</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chili: no problem!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>GioGio: awwwww that's sweet</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lion: Wait how many people did you call?? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: uhhhhhhhh.. you, carlos, randy, jarv, george, antonio and zak</p>
<p> </p>
<p>GioGio: i have no recollection of this call</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: da costa lol</p>
<p> </p>
<p>GioGio: ah yes</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlphaBull: how in the fuck do you just casually call your team boss like that lol</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlphaBull: i legitimately cannot imagine doing that with franz or dr. marko</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: ahem, lando</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: you forgot someone</p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: </p>
<p> </p>
<p>MilkMan: i apologize for roasting you on stream as well gjdhfhhdhfhd</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AlexAlbon: apology accepted ig lol</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's certainly something! Join the drivers next time for more unfunny stuff! Feel fee to leave kudos or a comment!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. shaved heads, terrible puns and possible pining</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Damn, its been a looooong while! Hopefully now that F1 is back, I can find more inspiration! Here's chapter 2, enjoy!</p>
<p>Here's the list of the current driver nicknames:</p>
<p>MilkMan: Lando</p>
<p>TallBoi: George</p>
<p>Chili: Carlos</p>
<p>GioGio: Antonio</p>
<p>Lion: Max</p>
<p>AlexAlbon: Alex</p>
<p>Eclair: Charles</p>
<p>BigDEnergy: Daniel</p>
<p>Oconsistency: Esteban</p>
<p>AlphaBull: Pierre</p>
<p>Torpedo: Daniil</p>
<p>CardboardSigns: Nicholas</p>
<p>JustStrolling: Lance</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>TallBoi: </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>TallBoi: hang on why am i dealing with this alone</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>TallBoi has added CardboardSigns</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>TallBoi: is your name referencing that sign you made in testing?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>CardboardSigns: my work never stops with it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>CardboardSigns: you still take a lot of shirtless pictures</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>CardboardSigns: now what in the world have i been added to</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>TallBoi: hell</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>AlexAlbon: hell</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eclair: hell</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>CardboardSigns: </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>CardboardSigns has added JustStrolling</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JustStrolling: nicholas why</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>CardboardSigns: because fellow countrymen suffer together</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JustStrolling:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oconsistency: welcome to hell lance</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JustStrolling: oh thank god you're here too esteban</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JustStrolling: pls protect me </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oconsistency: can do </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JustStrolling: my hero :))))</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lion: get a room already you two</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oconsistency: shut up max</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lion: D: </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>______</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: be honest.. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: you guys hate it don't you?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>AlphaBull: I.. actually don't mind that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: how?? it looks so odd!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chili: you've got young hamilton vibes :)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chili: looks good on you!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: i</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: i guess it isn't that bad, is it?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Private Messaging: Lion to MilkMan</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lion: you certainly changed your mind quickly after carlos liked it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: fhdhdhsgdgd shut uppp</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: i just reconsidered it with his perspective</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lion: riiiiiiiighhand for the record, i can tell that you're blushing without even seeing you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: max I stg</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: should I mention the amount of times i've seen you blush around dan?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lion:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lion: fine, we're even</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hell, But Fast™</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oconsistency: it's really not too bad</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>AlphaBull: sent it to daniil</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>AlphaBull: he likes it too</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eclair: man, even the torpedo likes it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Torpedo has joined</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Torpedo: that really is a good look on you lando</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Torpedo: maybe I should do the same</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: people already following my example? i'm flattered!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>BigDEnergy: very aero-conscious</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MilkMan: honestly didn't think of that, maybe the fraction of a second I save shedding the weight of my hair will lead to a podium??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>BigDEnergy: wait so</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>BigDEnergy: the shedded weight and streamlined look.. looks like you know your </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lion: dan no</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oconsistency: oh god</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>BigDEnergy: hairodynamics?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>TallBoi:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chili:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>GioGio:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>AlexAlbon: </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eclair:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>AlphaBull:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JustStrolling:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lion: dan, that pun was worse than MasterCard Lola</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oconsistency: i changed my mind, hulk can have the seat back</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>CardboardSigns: signmeme12.PNG</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>TallBoi: from urging me to put a shirt on, to discouraging terrible puns. amazing character progression</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>BigDEnergy: D:</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's the second chapter in the books! Hope you enjoyed it; leave kudos or a comment if you did!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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